Life as we know it is about to change...

or so I'm told!
Today I'm EXCITED. I'm so pleased I've had this time to get used to the change of plans, and come into a good space about this experience. I feel gratitude this morning. I feel also a sense of calm and peace.
Last night Keith and I went out for the 'last supper' and he planted some good thoughts. I haven't ever looked at my fears objectively, and it hit me that it is completely normal and part of my survival instinct to be scared of being 'cut open'! But my body doesn't know this is planned, and part of a process and I am not going to die from this! Sometimes I really do wish thought that I was going to run the comrades rather than drive off to hospital. Actually this will be easier - I don't need to do anything but be calm.
I also believe that this can be as positive as having a natural birth and I needn't feel like I'm being sabotaged out of the experience I wanted. This will be a very special occassion, and I'm sure soon afterwards the method of delivery will be the last thing on my mind. It's surreal. I can hardly comprehend what it will be like seeing, feeling and holding my OWN child in my arms. I have wanted this experience for Keith and for me. I am so blessed that I get to have this tomorrow. Wow, we've come a long way. Driving past the fertility clinic last night made me realise again where this all started and now look at where we are! From small, small beginnings to the dawn of a new life.

Am I being unreasonable?

Today I've been doing the A-type thing again. When I went for an HSG last year, I was given FULL written instructions on what would happen, when it would happen, what I could expect/eat/drink/pain relief etc. Now, here I am going for major abdominal surgery and I have received NO information apart from a brief 5 min discussion with the gynae as to 'what could go wrong'. Now am I the only person who doesn't want surprises on c-sect day? Am I meant to just know that I cannot go to Mugg and Bean and have the Business Man's breakfast en route to the hosiptal on Friday morning? I have a million and one questions ,but I would rather be given the information than have to think of all the questions I should be asking.

To top it off, last night Keith and I went off to the clinic to 'book in' because we didn't feel like going in an extra 30 min earlier than we needed to on Friday morning to fill in all the forms, and apparently we should have been given an information pack. I got to ask the midwives on duty some of the questions I had lost sleep over the night before. But this morning I figured I still don't know what I should take to hospital? Baby clothes? Towels? Nappies?

I phoned Netcare now after having gone to the website to look for a nr - and called the 'patient liason officer' and this role or person no longer exists... so I'm now even more angry and I get passed on from person to person. Eventually I get a midwife who tries very calmly to help me. When I tried to explain how I feel about not having any information and being 'left to figure out things for myself' I am told that they only give you the information if you ask for it..... Unfortunately I'm now feeling very angry about this clinic and their lack of professionalism. I have to get over it and not let this affect Friday!