Never before have I been so obsessed with sleep, or used the word so much in my daily conversations! The worst thing about this adjustment period with a newborn baby is that I don't know how long it is going to last, nor do I know how long I am going to be up and down 1,2,3 or more times a night for an hour or more. Exams are easier - they're over in 3 hours. The c-sect was easy, over in an hour, the dentist... piece of cake. THIS is something else. Last week end I was so SO tired. I thought I would never be able to sleep again. I cried I was so tired. In case you're wondering, I'm an 8 hour plus person. Then I got thinking about the last few years since I gave up corporate life, the single thing I loved the most about being my own boss is that I could sleep in. I've had an over-abundance of sleep in the last few years, and now it's the opposite. I'm living proof there isn't any way to bank sleep.
I was so close to giving up breast feeding on the week end, just so I could ask Keith to give David a bottle so I could sleep. But I couldn't do that as I was so worried I would compromise my milk production. It scares me talking to other Moms about how much sleep they get, and it appears I'm in this for the LOOOONG run. All mothers are saints - don't you think?
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
7 Days Old - David's photo shoot
Sherissa working her magic again... I love these shots.
Keith says David will hate me for these pics all dressed up in the strawberry hat... too bad, I have to be allowed as the Mom to indulge a little and get these cute images I've had in my head.
Keith says David will hate me for these pics all dressed up in the strawberry hat... too bad, I have to be allowed as the Mom to indulge a little and get these cute images I've had in my head.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Birth story
Remember how I said, it has to be a boy if it doesn't know which way is up or down? (Already being stubborn and won't ask for directions :-)). Well, I'm right for a change! It seems the baby knew better and the cord was wrapped around his neck twice. So despite my varied attempts to get this baby to turn around and head down, ECV, Chinese medicine/moxibustion, meditation, lying on my back on the ironing board with feet elevated, and 'talks' with the baby to get moving, it did not work and I was scheduled for a c-sect. Dr wanted it well before my due date on 2/3 Aug as he didn't want an 'emergency' situation and there was no possibility of me having a natural birth with the midwives. They don’t do breech deliveries. So after tears and a pep talk, I had a week to get my mind right and my expectations reset. My goal was for a wonderful c-sect experience, (as natural and beautiful as I envisaged the nat birth), and to get over my fears of needles/catheters and drips!
I'm pleased to say that 10 days down the line, I look back with fond memories of the 24th July. I thought I would miss being pregnant, and I don't at all. It's quite nice to have my body back!
Here's the rundown:
5am, wake up and get dressed, get car loaded - (we had 3 suitcases!!) 1 for me, Keith and Webblet. I felt excited and prepared. I had so many friends praying for me and specifically for the fact that I was feeling so nervous about surgery and my fear of needles. I felt very supported. The winter morning was crisp, the air ice-cold and the sky was bright with stars. On the way we passed the 'early worms' - runners who I used to join, doing their usual Friday morning loop, one I did many times a few months back, and I did NOT wish I was running with them. I thought to myself, this is such an important morning, how can you all carry on with your normal routines ? - we're about to welcome a very special person into the world!
At the clinic, we're escorted to our room, and I don the dreaded back-open/bum showing green gown. I'm acting calm, la la la la, looking at the pink and blue hats, wondering which one we'll be using? Eventually the lovely midwife, Henny, arrives and calmly puts up my drip - and yes she was right - this was the most painful event of the entire episode. Immediately my body kicked into gear and I felt faint and my lips went blue. I’m trying not to look at or feel the drip... but I know it is there and I still feel it. Keith is taking forever to get ready - and Henny runs me into the theatre which is buzzing with people. I get a glimpse of them unpacking some hideous looking stainless steel tools - I can only imagine the big shiny curved one is going to hold back my bladder...
The anaethetist, the paed, the surgeon all come in and say hi, and tell me exactly what they're doing. Our music, Cessaria Evora starts playing in the background and I know there is no going back. Swiftly I have the spinal block admininstered (piece of cake), moved onto the bed-with-a-hole-in-it and I'm swabbed like a large slab of white meat... feeling like a lamb to the slaughter. They tell me they're putting in the catheter (don't know as I can't feel anything) I hate the sensation of feeling-but-not-feeling. I know they're moving my legs around. My fear has always been that the anaesthetic doesn't work and I will feel the 'test' prick or slice or whatever they're going to do to check! Next thing I see the smoke rising in the theatre lights, so I can see they've hit the fat layer and are burning the blood vessels. (I know exactly what the run down is… so I know there are only a couple more layers to go) Dr Lucic whispers to me that we have 1 minute... I think Keith is holding my hand. I have a heater blowing hot air down my chest as I was shaking so much mostly due to nerves and the drugs. Then she says 'Dad, Look, there are some dangly bits". So I knew! Then she says, "It's a boy!" I looked up and saw this blue bum in the air, and our little boy was slowly birthed and placed onto my chest, wide eyed and staring out at us. I think all I could say was "It's a boy" and stroke his wet, warm little head. He had lots of hair too! We have a boy, and we have a son, and we even get to take him home with us! 2.74kg's, 51cm and PERFECT in every way. I'm in love. I think this is a serious love affair, that is going to last my whole life.
I'm pleased to say that 10 days down the line, I look back with fond memories of the 24th July. I thought I would miss being pregnant, and I don't at all. It's quite nice to have my body back!
Here's the rundown:
5am, wake up and get dressed, get car loaded - (we had 3 suitcases!!) 1 for me, Keith and Webblet. I felt excited and prepared. I had so many friends praying for me and specifically for the fact that I was feeling so nervous about surgery and my fear of needles. I felt very supported. The winter morning was crisp, the air ice-cold and the sky was bright with stars. On the way we passed the 'early worms' - runners who I used to join, doing their usual Friday morning loop, one I did many times a few months back, and I did NOT wish I was running with them. I thought to myself, this is such an important morning, how can you all carry on with your normal routines ? - we're about to welcome a very special person into the world!
At the clinic, we're escorted to our room, and I don the dreaded back-open/bum showing green gown. I'm acting calm, la la la la, looking at the pink and blue hats, wondering which one we'll be using? Eventually the lovely midwife, Henny, arrives and calmly puts up my drip - and yes she was right - this was the most painful event of the entire episode. Immediately my body kicked into gear and I felt faint and my lips went blue. I’m trying not to look at or feel the drip... but I know it is there and I still feel it. Keith is taking forever to get ready - and Henny runs me into the theatre which is buzzing with people. I get a glimpse of them unpacking some hideous looking stainless steel tools - I can only imagine the big shiny curved one is going to hold back my bladder...
The anaethetist, the paed, the surgeon all come in and say hi, and tell me exactly what they're doing. Our music, Cessaria Evora starts playing in the background and I know there is no going back. Swiftly I have the spinal block admininstered (piece of cake), moved onto the bed-with-a-hole-in-it and I'm swabbed like a large slab of white meat... feeling like a lamb to the slaughter. They tell me they're putting in the catheter (don't know as I can't feel anything) I hate the sensation of feeling-but-not-feeling. I know they're moving my legs around. My fear has always been that the anaesthetic doesn't work and I will feel the 'test' prick or slice or whatever they're going to do to check! Next thing I see the smoke rising in the theatre lights, so I can see they've hit the fat layer and are burning the blood vessels. (I know exactly what the run down is… so I know there are only a couple more layers to go) Dr Lucic whispers to me that we have 1 minute... I think Keith is holding my hand. I have a heater blowing hot air down my chest as I was shaking so much mostly due to nerves and the drugs. Then she says 'Dad, Look, there are some dangly bits". So I knew! Then she says, "It's a boy!" I looked up and saw this blue bum in the air, and our little boy was slowly birthed and placed onto my chest, wide eyed and staring out at us. I think all I could say was "It's a boy" and stroke his wet, warm little head. He had lots of hair too! We have a boy, and we have a son, and we even get to take him home with us! 2.74kg's, 51cm and PERFECT in every way. I'm in love. I think this is a serious love affair, that is going to last my whole life.
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