I got to the clinic last night for my appointment only to find the Dr walking out of the building... he thought I wasn't coming! Clearly a lack of communication btn him and his secretary. Anyway, Keith got there too and I stared at the ants on the white ceiling while he tried to turn the baby to somersault down-wards. He told me a month ago he didn't think it would work becuase there is not enough fluid.. and it didn't. Baby didn't budge an inch. I was more afraid than sore from the procedure. He immediately checked the heart rate and it had gone to 167bpm. Webblet quickly settled down after that and I went for a precautionary NST. It was perfect, no stress seemed to have been passed onto babe - but I WAS stressed after the c-sect discussion and all the things that I need to be prepared for going wrong. I felt disappointed and sad that I was sitting in the lovely Genesis clinic where I want to have this baby, for the test, and hearing the newborns crying in the other rooms, knowing that I will most likely be having the c-sect next week in a hospital. Yes, I hate having my expectations messed up. And I have time - a week at least, to get used to the idea.
To put things in perspective I got a message from my SIL saying that like a wedding day, the birth day is just the beginning of the journey. It's not really about me, it's about bringing into the world this child in a safe manner. Yes, I want to experience natural childbirth and I may still get to do that if I have another baby. There are many positives - the baby is full-term and looking healthy and a good weight (about 2.5kg's!), I'm in safe hands with the team for the c-sect. I have a lot of support. My goal now is to be in a positive frame of mind and not emotionally distraught that my plan of natural is not going to happen. Although I'm going to give the baby another chance to turn with one last alternative remedy this evening....
