or so I'm told!
Today I'm EXCITED. I'm so pleased I've had this time to get used to the change of plans, and come into a good space about this experience. I feel gratitude this morning. I feel also a sense of calm and peace.
Last night Keith and I went out for the 'last supper' and he planted some good thoughts. I haven't ever looked at my fears objectively, and it hit me that it is completely normal and part of my survival instinct to be scared of being 'cut open'! But my body doesn't know this is planned, and part of a process and I am not going to die from this! Sometimes I really do wish thought that I was going to run the comrades rather than drive off to hospital. Actually this will be easier - I don't need to do anything but be calm.
I also believe that this can be as positive as having a natural birth and I needn't feel like I'm being sabotaged out of the experience I wanted. This will be a very special occassion, and I'm sure soon afterwards the method of delivery will be the last thing on my mind. It's surreal. I can hardly comprehend what it will be like seeing, feeling and holding my OWN child in my arms. I have wanted this experience for Keith and for me. I am so blessed that I get to have this tomorrow. Wow, we've come a long way. Driving past the fertility clinic last night made me realise again where this all started and now look at where we are! From small, small beginnings to the dawn of a new life.
